"What do you want to ask God for?"
The question caught be a bit off guard. It was asked of me by a member of the church where I get to lead and pastor. In a lot of cases I think I would go into "pastor" mode and give a pat answer that would keep the questioner at bay. You know - slip into that insipid "Christian-ese" that we all know is fake and mildly nauseating, but which creeps into the hearts and language of the best of us.
But this time was different. This inquiry was made my a person who simply doesn't fall into this sort of Christian-ese subculture. That would be too fake for them. There is simply a genuineness to her that made the request hard to resist.
Anyway, I suddenly found myself telling this person that I had a lot of choices and wasn't sure how to make them in the most judicious way. Then, I asked for wisdom.
I know, I know - that is potentially the "safe" answer. I mean, who doesn't want wisdom, right? All I can say is that it was an answer I offered out of a surprising amount of honesty. I really do think I need wisdom. I really do find myself wondering at times how to make wise choices in the midst of this new job, new demands, new reality of work, etc.
The person who had asked me for my prayer request didn't seem to miss a beat. The request seemed right and fine to her - in truth I think she is the sort of person that would give the benefit of the doubt to everyone so that if I had asked for a hot dog or some other inane thing she would have taken it with as much seriousness as my request for wisdom. I digress, yet again.
In response to my request the praying partner told me that she would pray. However, she told me I had work to do. Quoting Jesus own words to me, she told me that my job now was to believe. I was to believe in my heart that God would give wisdom and imagine that God was "pouring it like water over my head" even as we were talking.
All of the story I have told you up until this point is simply to make this point: sometimes it takes work to believe things to be true. Maybe even more than work, it might take determination, faith, trust, convincing, sweat, defiance of norms and mores, - and even more.
In any case, deciding to believe something to be true - that's my work today. Regardless of the pessimism that creeps in at times, the nit-picky opinions of others to the contrary, etc. - part of my work is to believe certain things to be true.
What are you deciding to believe? Is this hard work for you at times?
"In any case, deciding to believe something to be true - that's my work today. Regardless of the facts, the present reality, the pessimism that creeps in, the opinions of others to the contrary, etc., etc., etc., - part of my work is to believe certain things to be true."
ReplyDeleteThat's an interesting claim, certainly rooted in the pragmatic perspective of belief, i.e., that we can somehow will ourselves to believe, in spite of a paucity of evidence. See William James mountaineer example or Blaise Pascal's counsel on how to go about believing in God (just act as if you do believe and eventually the conviction will follow.) But I must say that you seem to take it a bit further, not only believing despite lacking evidence but even, possibly, in the face of evidence to the contrary. This it, seems to me, is starting to tread on dangerous ground, the path that fundamentalists often take. What kinds of things qualify, in your opinion, for this kind of epistemic approach?
you always make me think Mike!
ReplyDeleteso, on my toes on this one - I can say that I was not attempting to make as broad a claim as you are assessing me to be making.
I have amended the actual post to reflect a more accurate epistemology.
thanks!